福爾摩斯習慣

我知道你正在處理一些我一知半解的事情

我不聞不問

是因為知道會換來一潑冷水

倒不如

默默的鼓勵你

替你加油

叫你堅強些

因為有些事終究會有一個決定

你不是不做決定

而是沒到絕地時刻

你是不會放手一搏

像你說的

我們不能掌握但我們能決定

許多事

許多許多事

關於我

你真的不知道

而有時

我卻知道你的事

我不怪你

但想告訴你

原因真的很簡單

Because I pay attention on you. 

More than words.

I love words. 

I love vintage typewriter font. 

I love typography, I always do. 

Words can read deep into your heart, deep into your mind. 

Some might think why I write many sentimental topic and label me as a sentimental writer and that is not true. 

Because the inspiration of creation is came from your mind, your heart. And I had to say, I have a big heart. 

I might pessimistic but I always hope for the best. 

I always told myself, everything will crush you in your life.

But deep down, never forget where you came from, what the purpose from the beginning and what make you reach until here. 

I like to create or invent. Like an inventor.

I like to create story, images, video and more that I can imagine. 

You can judge, criticize but never telling me to stop create.

 

I read a lot recently. 

Words keep flow in my head. 

Life of meaning, thought of matter. 

I'm waiting my chance to post my typography that I already create.

I love words like I said. 

"She not perfect. She mess things up. She have height phobia. She have select the phobia. She strong at the same time she weak. She cried at middle of the night. She miss someone but afraid to call. But, all she want is a man who bring her flower, understand her flaws and love it all. " 

-- JinQuan

突然的記憶

今天有個回憶突然出現在我腦海裡

“你還記得我為你做的video 嗎？” 我說
“不知道丟去那裡了咯。” 你說
“Walao，很辛苦做出來的叻。” 我說
然後不知道什麼話題
大家都把這個東西轉開了

因為這個video只有一份copy而已
我之前的hard disk 壞了，所以整份copy沒了
僅剩下刻錄給你的CD

只是記得
我拍了些你打球的背影
加
中華校園風景裡你可能找到的回憶
然後就是
自拍想對你說的一切30天裡的其中一天
剩下的全部不見了
然後背景音樂好像是
愛我的人收 ～ 賴淞鳳

另一個CD是
我去巴厘島的短片
剪接到有點亂
不過風景都拍的很漂亮
然後就交給你了
背景音樂是" Let Her Go"

寫給你的卡片
做個你的video
你都弄丟了

想想
為什麼我還沒被弄丟呢？
我傻笑了

那些該總結的事情

好了

好了

好了

夠了

夠了

夠了

深呼吸，吐氣

深呼吸，再吐氣

累了

就躺一躺

休息下

人生還有很長的路要走

最近的事情

真的有點過火了

然後

自己也有點累

幾乎每天都提着負擔過生活

不是生活負擔

而是情感負擔

只能告訴自己不管有多心碎

別說給別人聽

把碎片撿起來

再貼回原本的位置

繼續生活

我

不是很想再提關於她的事了

因為

真的不想再說了

就算說了

也改變不了什麼

我現在只想和我的朋友們開心的過每一天

每天在訊息箱裡廢話連篇的同時

我們互相學習一些新東西

運動多一些

好想念踢球的日子

不過為了要籌錢

做下打工仔

犧牲下

那些所謂的感情道理

偶爾想想就好

至少還能提提你心中還有那麼一個她

淡淡的一廂情願

天真浪漫的執著

盼望著某天釋懷

“我真的應該要幫你找一個會照顧你，想你，擔心你還有愛你的女友。”

“不必啦！你當我的那不就好了嗎？呵呵。”

“可是我每一次都在傷害你，不理你，我不會是你想要的女友哦。”

“沒關係，誰叫我那麼夠愛你？”

我也不知道為什麼我每一次願意為你做任何事

"I scare of you sometimes, do you know why?" the girl ask.

"Because you always go BIG for me and that terrifies me." the girl says.

就是因為這樣

所以有時候你乾脆阻止我去為你做任何事情

現在

我靜靜就好

You know you're always saying how you're just wanting me to be happy?

Well, the thing is, as you're in my life, I am.

Beyond something I searching for.

I really not angry or mad or any else you would think of

After I text you morning today and just now read your blog

I found myself really need to tell you something that I don't understand.

I'm a human, I talk to my love one (friends and family and lover) like a lot. Any funny, silly things or thought I think of, or any dream I dreamed, bullshit a lot but in the end we laugh at it or maybe knows life how should it be. I hold on every memory, every single tiny details of my love one, maybe sometimes will forget. I can be a very good listener, in fact you already know and I can come up something very serious thought and the same time try to cheer you up, but starting point is you willing talk to me. 

I don't understand. 

When I ask for the battery, you took it, and you never say a thing. I spend whole day and beg for the staff must find it for me because it is very important. Until, the staff told me, you took it.

I was like, do I text you before I started to wait? Yes. I do text, but why you don't say a thing? Okay, fine, maybe you're busying.

The way I found myself for any excuses of your reason that not reply a single word or how you act to me recently is more than your imagine. These days, my hope became desperate. You never reply my text. At the end, I just feel, it is enough for me that you already "seen" the massage. If you text back, that is my lucky day.  

I don't understand. 

Why? 

You said, I'm your soul mate or maybe soul mate is too shallow to describe between us. 

Well, that bother me, because I keep on asking myself, who are you to me? 

If I'm your soul mate, brother, best-friend, 

then who are you to me?

Unbreakable.

嗨！
我想除了你沒人會來我的博客留下足跡
博客上寫的也只是你和我的故事
感覺這博客好像成了我和你溝通的其中一個橋樑
無聲但從中卻能明白對方的思考
我想我道歉已經道歉的夠多了
可能現在你真的不想和我說話，不想見我，逃避我
也可能正好相反
你總會有兩面可能性思考的腦袋

這博客成了我感性時刻的記錄
同時也給能讓你釋放你的感性
說不出的感覺，不能用文字表達
是一件很糟糕的事情
有一個
能明白你的人無聲的陪伴，足矣

我的博客你會時常來讀
我的推特你會偶爾看
為了不讓你情緒一下子到達一個爆點
我選擇把感覺寫在博客
等你平伏情緒和有時間，你會拜訪這裡
看看我寫的文字
文采平凡，能觸動到你的心，已足夠

這幾天我好想跟你說話
不是簡訊，而是通話
簡訊你可以看了就把我愣在那，已讀不回
我寧願，我們見個面，吃頓飯
在見面的整個過程不說任何一句話。
而我現在只能告訴自己
“錦權，她在忙，她真的忙到沒有時間去憂傷，去想別人。”
“錦權，她可以很無理取鬧的把任何人推開，給她些時間去想。”
“錦權，想想任何辦法能讓她開心起來。”
“錦權，她真的不想見你，不想理你，不想你在她身邊，因為你真的很煩。”
“錦權，其實兩年前的劇本又重演了。”
“錦權，她只是害怕所以才這樣對你。”
我只是想對你說
別把我丟在一旁
請也把我一起帶上
一起進入你那混亂的世界裡，幫你整理

關於電池的故事
等你變正常一些，才跟你說
那個電池，除非你最近做了很多好事然後有好報
否則這個電池現在不會落在你的手上

然後
有一個夢是
我在夢裡遇見你
然後你靠近我
嘗試聞聞你的發香
但我卻聞不出味道

然後
不知何時
我開始知道
你對我撒謊的感覺
我感覺得到
卻沒嘗試拆穿
告訴自己要相信你
即使有多麼的荒謬
即使大家都說我笨
我選擇相信你
因為
你毫無頭緒，只好用謊言
因為
那是你的本性

哈哈

有點後悔當初寫給你的紙條大部分是感性的

應該寫多點激勵語給你

She finds it hard to trust someone,

She's heard the words cause they've all been sung.

She's the girl in the corner,

She's the girl nobody loved.

But I can't, I can't, can't stop thinking about you everyday,

And you can't, you can't,

you can't listen to what people say.

They don't know you baby,

Don't know that you're amazing,

But I'm here to stay.

**When you lose your way and the fight is gone,

Your heart starts to break

And you need someone around now.

Just close your eyes while I put my arms above you,

And make you unbreakable.

She stands in the rain, just to hide it all.

If you ever turn around,

I won't let you fall down now.

I swear I'll find your smile,

And put my arms above you,

And make you unbreakable.

I'll make you unbreakable.

Cause she's the girl that I never had,

She's the heart that I wanted bad.

The song I heard on the radio

That made me stop and think of her.

And I can't, I can't, I can't concentrate anymore.

And I need, I need,

Need to show her what her heart is for,

It's been mistreated badly,

Now her world has started falling apart,

Falling apart.

**

You need to know that somebody's there all the time,

I'd wait in line, and I hope it yours.

I can't walk away 'til your heart knows,

That it's beautiful.

Oh, I hope it knows, It's beautiful.

**

Cause I love, I love, I love, I love you darling.

Yes I love, I love, I love, I love you darling.

And I'll put my arms around you,

And make you unbreakable.