Monday, June 15, 2015

開始有點寫不下任何東西
發現當你明白越多
你會越收在心裡不太想說
即使我寫了
我也不太想全部公開
我把部分寫了放進草稿檔裡
有時候
不知道為什麼自己的想法變得有點直接
直接到只差決定要不要說
若我說了
請別怪我
因為我信任你的判斷

這兩個月
讓我覺得有些
生病加心碎
我時常對自己說
你能怎樣?
你的選擇
決定你是一個怎樣的人
慶幸我還明白我是一個怎樣的人

把頭髮剪短了
那是我那麼久以來很喜歡也很適合我的髮型
而我把它剪了
它能令我很帥氣
可是我把它剪了

而我只是想了解我自己
是否真的能
把自己最喜歡的東西
剪了
然後感覺如何
我剪了
而我還好好的

我嘗試去接受我剪了我那最愛的髮型
偶爾摸摸自己的頭
它會長回來的
可是已經沒那麼期待它會長的快了
因為
我現在還得專心去做一些還沒完成的事

那只是一個你很喜歡的髮型而已
別迷戀它
它只是一個傳說

愛上一個對自己失憶
被自己遺忘的女孩
你能的就是好好的照顧她
你必須把自己想要的
變成你們一起創造的
-- JinQuan                

Thursday, June 04, 2015

無題之亂寫

不知道從哪天開始
我失去寫故事的能力
我越寫越提不起勁
越寫,感覺越奇怪
是好事嗎?
我覺得是
是一件好事
因為我不再想那麼多
因為妳開始為我敞開心房
讓我好好的去了解你的想法
不去猜疑
不去多想

那些重量級的情話
都是靜悄悄的說出

那些回憶與經歷
都會被遺忘
都會被記錯
而我覺得沒必要去
讓一個人有罪惡感
去記得那些回憶
那些美好的回憶

別擔心
妳不記得
我會提醒妳
然後讓妳傻乎乎的想
拼命的回想
然後一直否認
那是我最大的樂趣


Thursday, May 28, 2015

默默的

其實真的沒什麼大不了
精神上的折磨而已

夢見與妳一起的一切
想的是與妳共渡一切

真的沒什麼很大件事
只是精神上的折磨而已

覺得妳會為我
但妳不會
我也不期望妳會
也不覺得妳會

算了吧
一切會過去的
真的會過去的

痛是真的
愛也是真的

我更希望妳能
愛的很自由
愛的能飛翔
愛的很開心
愛的不必擦眼淚

因為明白妳經歷太多
所以想讓自己平凡些
好讓你毫無壓力
毫無戒心
去接受我

在我的愛情觀點上是自由的
妳要來
妳要走
妳決定
我會盡力而為挽回
然而妳決定了
再多說無益
我尊重妳的決定


Sunday, May 24, 2015

雨人

我們都愛胡思亂想
可能沒安全感問題
造成我們都會這樣

最近
看見朋友們把原本的愛
變成恨
我想說
別把焦點放在同一個事情上
要理智分析問題
嘗試站在對方的角度設想

我不怪誰
我只恨當初不理智的我

要學會看開
真的不是那麼簡單
我很肯定
現在的我
已經
不是三個月前的我

要學會看開
不是一時能學會
而是經歷過
明白
了解
深入思考
當你悟覺那一剎那
你明白
沒有什麼是過不去的


Sunday, May 10, 2015

#Sleepy

I'm just too tired to write
Sorry
People ask why
People ask worthy
People ask easy but I can give the deepest answer that other won't understand

I'm just feels sleepy
Heart, mind tired and sleepy

You're right
I hide things
but those things are tiny and not worth to mention once compare to yours
The reason why I choose don't talk about it
1st, no point at all
2nd, useless at all
And sometimes I don't talk about because before I talk I already know the answers

The night drive
Recently I love night drive
The night drive was more interesting when someone sleep beside you
or talk beside you
I love night drive
It let me think a lot
Life
Future
Plan
Cry sometime
But it is okay

My exist become your oblivion
Is what I fear most

Friday, May 01, 2015

Sense

Figure some how I do know something
Skype not green light anymore
His tweet can read a lot of things
So yea
Clearly back to normal I guess
Somehow, my sense are correct about things will happen
But never expect so soon
Well
Insomnia again

Thursday, April 30, 2015

思念是一种病

对你的思念转化成记忆体
每一次的梦
梦境遇见你
听见你说话的声音
真的很想你
尝试撬开话题
你却冷漠已读

太久没有浇水的花
会枯萎
或许还残留着爱你的痕迹
痕迹终究会磨平
这样的爱意终究会磨灭

时空
把这分爱扭曲
选择
总会有瑕疵
坚守
已不在乎能否在一起

心碎
只是一阵子的事情

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Quotes of mine

I believe what I believe is a bullshit

I smile and laugh at those stupid humanity

Maybe I'm intelligent, but far more than while handle my emotional

People are leaving, don't they? So pull your shit together and move on

I see though people evilness, that is sort kind of my talent gift

I always sort out my time plan for important people, so if you wanna last minute pull out, just let me know earlier

God help those who help themselves
People don't see far, yet I see too far and afraid of proceed

I know that is a trap, and only make me go into that trap is somebody I care most

If I were you, I kill myself already

Maybe it's cruel or I don't know what happening, but one thing I'm sure is I can see through problem

I don't think clear when I have attachment, but I think and act straight when I have alcohol

People think they afraid of changing, truth is they need some push

You'll know I'm a lunatic, once you're my friend

I think too much, like very much that you can't imagine

I'm a weirdo, I mean I talk or text weird, but if you feel not weird maybe we're same level of weird

If girl I like can eat a lot, then I can pay

Tough is not the way, to believe it's okay not to be okay, that's what I believe

Sometimes I act angry in conversation, but secretly I'm not angry at all

Music playlist, that what I hide myself into it

I knows things before you told me, sound one of the talent I have, I guess

As long as can make her high, that is not about the dick size anymore

A girl that have unique character, don't apologize, that's what make you became you

No matter how ridiculous she is, please believe her, because she just a girl.

With you, I really need to learn how to shut my mouth

In my term of healing, psychologist never help

One thing I never regret: I kissed your cheek on 14th of June, Kiss Day

- - JinQuan

Saturday, April 25, 2015

To Mrs J

This time was different
Different than before
Yea
The feelings was hard and painful 
But it all came by
Around 
Bend 
After all these days I smile at those memory
Those memory I think will hurt me 
I told myself 
Those memory
Those moment 
I was smile and glad 
Maybe some flaws in those memory but
joy memory more then flaws 
and that was okay for me

Don't cry on those happy memory you have with people
Those are beautiful memory 
Don't let sadness take away from it
It take away enough from you 
Don't tears 
If you're thinking a happy, warm, joy memory 
These memory are deserves more than tears 
You should smile on it

You know 
Sometimes 
I think I was stupid to write those letter for you
Telling my feelings and truth for you is right
But
It is unnecessary
It is unnecessary
Well, I guess love can cloud your judgement was right after all 

I mean I was a stupid after all 
Don't I?
I mean why should I worry about losing you when you tell me I don't need to. 
I don't want to have you 
Why should I?
When I know I'm the only person that know you well
When I know I can have a female friends willing travel with me
When I know I can be your best friend ever in your life
When I know I can seduce you in some ways 
When I know I can give you some different taste in life
When I know I can learn about girls from you
When I know I can learn about how to take care a girl 
When I know I can share your burden
When I know I can shout on you, you can shout on me
When I know we can share about photography 
When I know someone that have the same taste with me
When I know you are weirdo as me 

After all of this
Then 
Why should I having you when I know can let you tears a lot?
I know if I can't let you stop, that is my problem 
But I did always did let you stop, don't I? 

And that enough reason for me to stay by your side. 
Just fuck others telling me that leave you is for my own good. 
Okay? 

Thursday, April 23, 2015

Little of recently

It feels better recently
I mean, after all it will be alright
Yea
Should be

Yea
I'm JinQuan after all
If world going to doom I think I will be one of the survivor
JinQuan always good
JinQuan always not afraid pain
Something like that bla bla bla
Talking about like JinQuan won't destructible

Yea
Again
Maybe this is my fantasy again
Who's care how I going on

Well, only real true friends know what I'm thinking
How I am
And I going well again
ALL IS WELL