我不知道
这接下来
会如何
同样的
我还是回到这个地方写东西
同样的
我还是喜欢空行与分段写博客
同样的
我还是写自己不了解的心情
也同样的
写着同样男孩与女孩的故事
3 年了
接下来就第 4 年了
但
今年是特别的一年
至少我感觉我自己变了许多
我变了
她也变了
我们彼此变好了
而我越来越喜欢
她对我的方式
我不确定是我变了
还是她对我真的变了一种方式
有时候她对我的方式
会让我措手不及
她好喜欢她的房间
喜欢到不知道怎样形容
其实就如
我好想把我现在的心情
将它们全部写下
但不知道怎样形容
网上流传着一个
“当你用一种很特别的眼神看着你爱人”
那种眼神通常在她不知道的时候
我望着她
当她在专心吃东西的时候
当她在犹豫选择东西的时候
当她在说一些事情没看着我的时候
当她走在我的前面的时候
当我的眼神剩下全世界她一个人的时候
我明白为何那么久了
那么多次的伤害
那么多次的吵架
几次离别
我还是回来到她身边
原来爱
不是付出那么简单
不是会回报的过程
不是愿意留下来陪你的人
而是明白,体谅,包容,耐心与接受
她令我体会到了全部
而不是像看电影那样的去体会爱
我很喜欢现在的我们
我们能让彼此变得更好
若她把我变的更好
我也会时常鼓励她
就是那种当你爱一个人会想要她更好的一面
最近我对着西瓜为她下了一个誓言
“以后咱们俩的所有事情,不能对其他人说。”
“若食言,西瓜将会噩梦长眠。”
原本生气的她,笑了
还加了几条毒咒下去
有时候
她不相信我的话
但
我说的每一个字
都是认真的
然后
我很喜欢她否认我认真说的样子
有点可爱
读者
说真的
我不知道
这接下来
会如何
那些未知的因数
那些未知的打击
那些未知的路途
恐惧着我
我希望从这所有未知迷茫路途
看见她确定的明灯把我指向她
Monday, July 11, 2016
Friday, June 10, 2016
Dream #2
Last night I dream about you, again
It was a sweet one. Like we did try to make some effort for both of us.
It was night time, we walk on park, suddenly something across the sky, it was a meteor.
I saw you making wish, so do I.
You turn around and asked me what did I wish?
I write it down on a paper.
"I wish I can make you fall in love with me,"
You smile like a sunshine.
I asked you what did you wish?
"I don't want let you know. But why did you take your wish like this?" you said.
"Not every time we can see a meteor fly across the sky together, so I must make it count every time." I reply.
You say nothing, we walk back to the apartment that we live together.
It was a sweet one. Like we did try to make some effort for both of us.
It was night time, we walk on park, suddenly something across the sky, it was a meteor.
I saw you making wish, so do I.
You turn around and asked me what did I wish?
I write it down on a paper.
"I wish I can make you fall in love with me,"
You smile like a sunshine.
I asked you what did you wish?
"I don't want let you know. But why did you take your wish like this?" you said.
"Not every time we can see a meteor fly across the sky together, so I must make it count every time." I reply.
You say nothing, we walk back to the apartment that we live together.
Dream by
Kenn Lim
When
11:02 AM
Sunday, May 15, 2016
就地如重游拍【更新隐藏】
其实重回这个地方,感觉陌生却又点熟悉。在这闭关的几个月里,我学会更加妥善的处理自己的情感。我真的希望我有很强烈黑暗人格,可是还是因为一些开心,温暖的事情影响了自己的情绪。尝试做一些自己觉得黑暗的事情,或是诱导人去做,结果我得到了我想要的答案。
一,我不可能会有完全黑暗的一面
二,我那黑暗的一面也只是诱导别人去做事情
三,即使内心再黑暗,我也会自己找到光
当自己内心的矛盾越来越强的时候,我只相信那黑暗的一面可以解决,也是我现在在对自己实行着。在我的经验里,我不相信自己光的那一面可以解决事情。
我不否认,我喜欢我自己黑暗的一面,这让我少了情感的烦恼,专注在手上的事情。胡思乱想的情感来袭,我也只能让它们躲在黑暗里,压抑着,好过丢人现眼的去诉说有的没得。
-----------------
有些秘密
我想写在这里
想告诉你
一些我真实的想法
『我不确定我们之间算什么或是我们以后将何去何从,我只知道你是我的一切而你永远都会是,你总是能带出另一半最好的我。』
『关于承诺,我对你答应过的承诺,就是永远永远不管我们怎样,我都不会抛下你不理』你不理。』
一,我不可能会有完全黑暗的一面
二,我那黑暗的一面也只是诱导别人去做事情
三,即使内心再黑暗,我也会自己找到光
当自己内心的矛盾越来越强的时候,我只相信那黑暗的一面可以解决,也是我现在在对自己实行着。在我的经验里,我不相信自己光的那一面可以解决事情。
我不否认,我喜欢我自己黑暗的一面,这让我少了情感的烦恼,专注在手上的事情。胡思乱想的情感来袭,我也只能让它们躲在黑暗里,压抑着,好过丢人现眼的去诉说有的没得。
-----------------
有些秘密
我想写在这里
想告诉你
一些我真实的想法
『我不确定我们之间算什么或是我们以后将何去何从,我只知道你是我的一切而你永远都会是,你总是能带出另一半最好的我。』
『关于承诺,我对你答应过的承诺,就是永远永远不管我们怎样,我都不会抛下你不理』你不理。』
Dream by
Kenn Lim
When
1:27 AM
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
Monday, November 09, 2015
The Pregnancy Dream
How can I be more specific the story I about to tell?
In certain way, it might happen soon. No doubt.
I just wanna accept and prepare my mental all the time.
Not to be strong, but by your side. All the time.
When the night I was giving up everything
She show up in my dream again.
Every time I gonna give up and move on, she show up again.
Maybe I kinda coward to let it go? Not sure.
So, the dream I about to tell, it truly make me straight up open my eyes and wake up.
It's not a scary story, it's a ... *not sure what word I can describe.
At first, I want to call her and tell her about this, but that time I already force myself keep away from her and if I want to find a person can love me in future. I NEED TO MOVE ON. IN SERIOUSLY.
Here's begins:
The dream windup I met her in somewhere like a house in living room.
Suddenly, she cry and start told me that she is sorry and keep on say: "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
I hug her and asked: "Why? What happen?"
"I'm so sorry, I didn't want this happen." she said.
"Just tell me, what happen?" I said.
"I'm pregnant."
That moment I shock!
"It's gonna be okay. Don't worry."
"I'm so so so sorry. I didn't want know it will happen."
I hug her so tight and I started tear out, I crying, and I don't know why.
"Promise me you will give birth. Promise me you will stay alive and everything will be okay." *I not sure why I said this, but it's what I remember I said to her.*
I cry.
So hard.
The sudden, I woke up.
The last I remember is what I said to her. There were no respond from her.
I was too scare and my brain kick me out of the dream.
I'm sorry, if I make you feel sorry to me.
对不起,如果让你感觉到你对不起我。
In certain way, it might happen soon. No doubt.
I just wanna accept and prepare my mental all the time.
Not to be strong, but by your side. All the time.
When the night I was giving up everything
She show up in my dream again.
Every time I gonna give up and move on, she show up again.
Maybe I kinda coward to let it go? Not sure.
So, the dream I about to tell, it truly make me straight up open my eyes and wake up.
It's not a scary story, it's a ... *not sure what word I can describe.
At first, I want to call her and tell her about this, but that time I already force myself keep away from her and if I want to find a person can love me in future. I NEED TO MOVE ON. IN SERIOUSLY.
Here's begins:
The dream windup I met her in somewhere like a house in living room.
Suddenly, she cry and start told me that she is sorry and keep on say: "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
I hug her and asked: "Why? What happen?"
"I'm so sorry, I didn't want this happen." she said.
"Just tell me, what happen?" I said.
"I'm pregnant."
That moment I shock!
"It's gonna be okay. Don't worry."
"I'm so so so sorry. I didn't want know it will happen."
I hug her so tight and I started tear out, I crying, and I don't know why.
"Promise me you will give birth. Promise me you will stay alive and everything will be okay." *I not sure why I said this, but it's what I remember I said to her.*
I cry.
So hard.
The sudden, I woke up.
The last I remember is what I said to her. There were no respond from her.
I was too scare and my brain kick me out of the dream.
I'm sorry, if I make you feel sorry to me.
对不起,如果让你感觉到你对不起我。
Dream by
Kenn Lim
When
4:45 AM
Tuesday, November 03, 2015
The Last Long Breaking Point
November
Raining month
Cold and damp
and miss somebody like rain
When I started to talk
You shut me up with my annoying reason
I did try, but 3 years of cold shoulder I think that is enough
People said :"At least you both try to work out but somehow not meant to be have a better relationship."
I tried, broke your walls, but you built it higher
I tried to throw the balls to you, but you never throw back
I tried to do accept who you in love with, but it making more crazy than ever
Every time I thought that is the window for me walk in your life with different relation
But you loved someone else
The other day I asked myself, do I really love you?
or just I never give up?
or because I wanted you in my life?
Like what people say about LOVE
and I found my answer
I crazy in love with your flaws
When you upset, I want to cheer you up
When you fear, I will give you courage
When you mad, I listen why you mad about
When you disgust, that is my fault and my job to let you feel embrace again
I've got nothing to say
Just
Anything doesn't make sense without you
Sorry, I reach my breaking point.
Raining month
Cold and damp
and miss somebody like rain
When I started to talk
You shut me up with my annoying reason
I did try, but 3 years of cold shoulder I think that is enough
People said :"At least you both try to work out but somehow not meant to be have a better relationship."
I tried, broke your walls, but you built it higher
I tried to throw the balls to you, but you never throw back
I tried to do accept who you in love with, but it making more crazy than ever
Every time I thought that is the window for me walk in your life with different relation
But you loved someone else
The other day I asked myself, do I really love you?
or just I never give up?
or because I wanted you in my life?
Like what people say about LOVE
and I found my answer
I crazy in love with your flaws
When you upset, I want to cheer you up
When you fear, I will give you courage
When you mad, I listen why you mad about
When you disgust, that is my fault and my job to let you feel embrace again
I've got nothing to say
Just
Anything doesn't make sense without you
Sorry, I reach my breaking point.
Dream by
Kenn Lim
When
3:29 AM
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Cure not poison
For me
The ultimate cure in this world is
When you talk to me
It cure every mood of mine
It cure every sadness of mine
It cure every inner dark side of me
Negatives to positives
You are the cure
Not the poison I addicted to
The ultimate cure in this world is
When you talk to me
It cure every mood of mine
It cure every sadness of mine
It cure every inner dark side of me
Negatives to positives
You are the cure
Not the poison I addicted to
Dream by
Kenn Lim
When
3:27 AM
Monday, October 26, 2015
朋友的问题
其实这几个月
自己的焦虑与忧伤的情况有好转
没像以前那么还放不开
偶尔的寂寞还是会
但还是能用其他事情转移不安的情感
每一次的博客更新让我自己检讨
其实也不是一件坏事
其实我还蛮讨厌别人一直说她的坏话
能说她的坏话也只有我有这个权利
但我觉得我身边很亲近的朋友都已经彻底放弃我了
完全不了解我的作风
而我也不在乎别人了解
因为这是对自己的诚实
自己的心不需要别人来指指点点
自己的感觉不需要别人的指使
自己的感觉要对自己诚实
我只想对她说一句
你是我的人,你要不要和我的朋友交朋友是你权利,我也没有逼你和我的朋友交朋友或是我叫我的朋友和你交朋友。若是不和,搭不上话,那么跟我的朋友就做一个一面之交的朋友就好。我相信你交朋友的质量。
但
其实有时候觉得
彻底离开她
她会想念你
她会想跟你说话
她会不想和你结束话题
她很想跟你出去
她想给你好的
她想你留下
反而离开她的人成了她最想要的人
而离不开的人成了她能依靠的人
自己的焦虑与忧伤的情况有好转
没像以前那么还放不开
偶尔的寂寞还是会
但还是能用其他事情转移不安的情感
每一次的博客更新让我自己检讨
其实也不是一件坏事
其实我还蛮讨厌别人一直说她的坏话
能说她的坏话也只有我有这个权利
但我觉得我身边很亲近的朋友都已经彻底放弃我了
完全不了解我的作风
而我也不在乎别人了解
因为这是对自己的诚实
自己的心不需要别人来指指点点
自己的感觉不需要别人的指使
自己的感觉要对自己诚实
我只想对她说一句
你是我的人,你要不要和我的朋友交朋友是你权利,我也没有逼你和我的朋友交朋友或是我叫我的朋友和你交朋友。若是不和,搭不上话,那么跟我的朋友就做一个一面之交的朋友就好。我相信你交朋友的质量。
但
其实有时候觉得
彻底离开她
她会想念你
她会想跟你说话
她会不想和你结束话题
她很想跟你出去
她想给你好的
她想你留下
反而离开她的人成了她最想要的人
而离不开的人成了她能依靠的人
Dream by
Kenn Lim
When
2:44 AM
Saturday, October 24, 2015
Saturday, October 17, 2015
Glasses.
Every time we talk, I always take away my glasses.
Glasses make me feels like I'm judging.
Feels like I need glasses to see clearly of a person.
When the moment I take it away
I saw more clear that I usually have.
Realize, I don't need glasses make a clearer path for me.
She is in front of me and I glad I found her.
Dream by
Kenn Lim
When
1:13 AM
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