Wednesday, November 25, 2015







Monday, November 09, 2015

The Pregnancy Dream

How can I be more specific the story I about to tell?
In certain way, it might happen soon. No doubt.
I just wanna accept and prepare my mental all the time.
Not to be strong, but by your side. All the time.

When the night I was giving up everything
She show up in my dream again.
Every time I gonna give up and move on, she show up again.
Maybe I kinda coward to let it go? Not sure.

So, the dream I about to tell, it truly make me straight up open my eyes and wake up.
It's not a scary story, it's a ... *not sure what word I can describe.
At first, I want to call her and tell her about this, but that time I already force myself keep away from her and if I want to find a person can love me in future. I NEED TO MOVE ON. IN SERIOUSLY.

Here's begins:
The dream windup I met her in somewhere like a house in living room.
Suddenly, she cry and start told me that she is sorry and keep on say: "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

I hug her and asked: "Why? What happen?"

"I'm so sorry, I didn't want this happen." she said.

"Just tell me, what happen?" I said.

"I'm pregnant."

That moment I shock!

"It's gonna be okay. Don't worry."

"I'm so so so sorry. I didn't want know it will happen."

I hug her so tight and I started tear out, I crying, and I don't know why.

"Promise me you will give birth. Promise me you will stay alive and everything will be okay." *I not sure why I said this, but it's what I remember I said to her.*

I cry.
So hard.
The sudden, I woke up.
The last I remember is  what I said to her. There were no respond from her.
I was too scare and my brain kick me out of the dream.

I'm sorry, if I make you feel sorry to me.

Tuesday, November 03, 2015

The Last Long Breaking Point

Raining month
Cold and damp
and miss somebody like rain

When I started to talk
You shut me up with my annoying reason
I did try, but 3 years of cold shoulder I think that is enough
People said :"At least you both try to work out but somehow not meant to be have a better relationship."
I tried, broke your walls, but you built it higher
I tried to throw the balls to you, but you never throw back
I tried to do accept who you in love with, but it making more crazy than ever
Every time I thought that is the window for me walk in your life with different relation
But you loved someone else

The other day I asked myself, do I really love you?
or just I never give up?
or because I wanted you in my life?
Like what people say about LOVE
and I found my answer

I crazy in love with your flaws
When you upset, I want to cheer you up
When you fear, I will give you courage
When you mad, I listen why you mad about
When you disgust, that is my fault and my job to let you feel embrace again

I've got nothing to say
Anything doesn't make sense without you

Sorry, I reach my breaking point.