Sunday, January 25, 2015

Hide

As I look at her, her eyes and tone are meant what she said.



Past few weeks ago, we talk about like a lot. Things are more simple then I ever imagine about. When she talks, I knew every words she said is truth, at least that moment she can't lies about feelings. I tried to stand by her side of view, tried not to be judgemental or a jerk. I stare at her as she talking all about the mess she been through, it was... well I just can't say a thing, not a single, because I'm not her, all those decision she make had already made, so what I do is keep my opinion inside for myself and give her a smile. And my ears are all hers. 

I doing good recently, build up my body so that can carry a person while climbing a mountain. But those fat are not going to lose me if I not control eat and burn it. About she, I hope she also well prepare, if not I going to carry her up to the mountain and non-negotiable for her. I'm carrying her up! 

All those story she told, some I can respond, some I wanted to, but instead of telling her, I rather keep it to myself, because I know she won't listen. Stubborn head! 
What I can do is a simple smile, for her. The last thing before I left, or we end our little meet up, I really need her to remember my smile. Just my smile. 


As I told her those birthday card I made and those hundred stars I fold for her. She said I never gift her before. Neither last year or previous years. Last hangout I told her I did, but she never received my gift before. Her voice are so sure about that. So, she ask when? I just smile away. 

Yeah. I did once for her. And she broke my heart. 


For the card and stars I made
Please hide away from her, so that she'll never find out.

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

Paper Girl

I wonder.
I wonder how it will going be.
I wonder what your mind thinking?

You just like Margo Roth Spiegelman.
When I think about you, I always think the back of your head.
I picture cracking your lovely skull, unspooling your brain, trying to get answers.

You may say all those movie I watched or the book I read,
I might in too deep about the character and make compare with you.
Truth is, there are some element inside of you that I can make imagine. 
If not, why all those movie entitle "This is based a true story" then will be a good movie? 
I think because all those real life experience, so I will make compare and imagine always.

So, Margo is a special one, until now who I can think of in my real life Margo, is you.
Why you? 
1. She always think sometimes people are fake, she said those are paper people.
2. She is a good planner and a dare devil.
3. She want to disappear and not to be found, start real fresh. 

You could say:"That not even like me."
But this is how I imagine what you like.
I can imagine what you look like, but never quite perfectly.
Because people are people, you can't force them to do or look what you want them look like.

Monday, January 05, 2015

我還是我

首先,每當我上部落格寫東西前,我都會逐個去閱讀我有跟隨的人。由於本人最近太多戲看而且有新書,加上也沒什麼感情或事蹟可以寫。基本上,部落格漸漸被遺忘了。而且我總是喜歡深夜的時候才寫東西,比較有感覺。

首先,先回复我讀了一個人的部落格,來一個很簡單的總結。三八。沒有別的意思,就覺得,很三八。別把我的三八的意思看成貶義,可能正正相反。

最近發現,我也很愛一次過,用一口氣講完我想講的東西,同時也很愛諷刺別人,雖然是沒有心。觀察與思考是我的最愛,哪怕我的思考會遲鈍些。

讓我想想我還有什麼缺點?

很煩人算是不是缺點?某些時候我真的覺得我自己很煩,聆聽太多人的故事,做一個聆聽者太久了,可是卻找不到一個聆聽者,挺傷心的。所以可能在談話中,我說了很多很奇怪的話,或者是無端端跳話題。可能我的腦袋不像別人那樣,我總是喜歡跳話題,跳着說話題比較有趣還有挑戰。怪卡一個。

對事情期望太高,我覺得期望高不是問題,問題是期望高到不會變通才是問題。同時我很驕傲去看待一件自己覺得很不起眼,別人卻很緊張的事情,簡稱,興趣,不屑。明明就很簡單的解決,問題是什麼大家都很清楚,但就是害怕一些很不相關的問題。告訴你,你先把當下的問題解決,未來問題再一一的想辦法,我們只有這個時刻,下個時刻發生的事留給下個時刻。對於感情事,理智去分析別人的問題,給了解決方式。最討厭的是:對方卻退縮,告訴你害怕去實行,顧慮許多。啊啊啊啊啊啊!想到這裡,我快發瘋了!因為我不只是為一個人提供“咨訊顧問”。

好心忠告:若你打算一刀兩斷,那幹嘛還顧慮那麼多?廢話一堆!
大家都說,長痛不如短痛?其實我覺得錯了,其實沒有短痛,只有長痛。

好,我自認我有點混蛋。是真的,可能覺得我怎麼罵也罵不走的人,才是對我真,最了解我的人,同時也是我最愛的人。

在還沒結束之前,謝謝你帶回來的巧克力,還有一個讓我很吃驚的禮物,高粱酒,還是特級版。真的沒想到你會送我那麼特別的禮物。