Monday, November 25, 2013

Lately, Recently

It is a harsh time for me now, maybe thing I said just easy for you but me, really messing up and lost.

Now I was trapping myself in a messy mind and heart. Once I thought I really fell in love again, and it was great. After realize there been always wasn't me or the one. Was a bit upset but I just keep lying myself that I could wait and wait until someone would notice all the things I done on one purpose, all I want is someone that I like or love can smile or laugh with me.

People say if you love someone enough, then he/she will love back, and until now, I haven't met one and so I believe it's a lie and a lie that keep giving people hope. I was consider a person who doing many things to people who I care, but the thing is I keep doing those things, I keep hurting myself. Think negative is tragic, but think positive is bring hope to people and thats require a lot of brave and responsibility. 

Lately, went lost, like a lamb lost in the mist. Everyday I wake up, feels like I just barely know myself.  I was trying to positive thinking, sometime it helps, but sometime I just become silent suddenly and even don't want to talk with others, wants to run away, push away all my friend, push away all the people who cares me, and I'm just afraid, afraid and afraid to face all those people.

Too silent, too lonely. I just don't know why.

I'm shutting myself down. REBOOT. 


December 2013 the end of the year, what would it will be?
I want to find back those I was lost one year time. Football life. 
I want to plan a secret things that all my friend and family don't know. When they find out, friend thinks me crazy, family will angry about me. 
I need a one-way trip, never regret. 

Thursday, November 14, 2013








Thursday, November 07, 2013

An unexpected person

Considering typing Chinese maybe you don't read it well, so I make it English for you.

Once, you told me about your life before I walked in. It was miserable, I can felt it. 
These day I know you have a hard time and I really know how it feels like, I really do. We barely knows each others, and I may not know how or what, but at least I hope I can be the one you can rely on.

I always want to see you smile when we meet or while chatting together.

Since we met at the moment I just want you be joy and happy, and when I can do something that can make you smile again and again I will keep doing that. It nothing about benefit or what, sometime it's just feelings. You just want the people you like that can smile with you.

In this stage, what I can do, and what I can't do, it was pretty clear in my mind. Stop and stare, waiting thing hows happen and always have prepare things when goes bad. I always do. But, before things be clear enough, I'll try, would you let me?