Now I was trapping myself in a messy mind and heart. Once I thought I really fell in love again, and it was great. After realize there been always wasn't me or the one. Was a bit upset but I just keep lying myself that I could wait and wait until someone would notice all the things I done on one purpose, all I want is someone that I like or love can smile or laugh with me.
People say if you love someone enough, then he/she will love back, and until now, I haven't met one and so I believe it's a lie and a lie that keep giving people hope. I was consider a person who doing many things to people who I care, but the thing is I keep doing those things, I keep hurting myself. Think negative is tragic, but think positive is bring hope to people and thats require a lot of brave and responsibility.
Lately, went lost, like a lamb lost in the mist. Everyday I wake up, feels like I just barely know myself. I was trying to positive thinking, sometime it helps, but sometime I just become silent suddenly and even don't want to talk with others, wants to run away, push away all my friend, push away all the people who cares me, and I'm just afraid, afraid and afraid to face all those people.
Too silent, too lonely. I just don't know why.
I'm shutting myself down. REBOOT.
December 2013 the end of the year, what would it will be?
I want to find back those I was lost one year time. Football life.
I want to plan a secret things that all my friend and family don't know. When they find out, friend thinks me crazy, family will angry about me.
I need a one-way trip, never regret.