Saturday, March 25, 2017


Well, here I am. Again. I hope the last post I did anything stupid because by far what I concern I did post a title. It is 7.30am now, morning! I have something to confess about.

I going to stop everything of the girl I met earlier. Not because of feels or not suitable for each others or any reason you can think of. It's just I'm not ready yet. I feel like there is so much darkness inside me, and she is kind and pure heart that I can't taint. I can't just release my darkness into someone.

"In relationship, if you hesitate , then the answer is simple. Either you both not ready, or one of you doesn't love another enough."

Don't get me wrong, I'm still happy. I have friends that annoyed me so much, try to burn me into ground and much more. Relationship? I'm no ready.

By the way, it is really weird if I not mention it. So yesterday I got sleep early and I didn't check the phone. In my sleep, I dream about somewhere a house, you coming in after your Frisbee match. You look, taller than me I guess? We didn't have eyes contact and you just walk right pass through me. Then I awake. I get off bed at 7am. Check on phone and here it is, I saw your message. Nothing much just a link to Lazada. Weird. Really weird. FYI, I mean you is Ms. J here.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017


The song that recently that keep me playing at an emotional period
Ed Sheeran -- Happier
Talented artist, the lyric just write deep through my heart
For a long time, I feel like I never been myself
Until I met a girl recently
Is awesome, there are words I can't find to describe her
It just everything feels so right
Sometimes I discover we actually like the same stuff
And when I say same is that nerdy stuff
I just never met a girl that can differentiate DC comic and Marvel 
The more we talk the more I found we a lot in common

At the moment, I keep on review and alert myself
If I'm prepared or desperately jump into a relationship
The girl is interested 
But I afraid 
Because I'm not sure I ready to commit to another girl 
"God, please give me the strength." 
So, I told the girl I want to take it slow
She agreed
Because both of us hurt by those so call "TAKERS" in relationship
After that conversation, she confess to me that she still think about "HIM"
But I never told her that I still hold on Ms.J
Or told her anything about Ms.J stories
Because I want to start new, start fresh, left all old scar behind like nothing

5 years for a girl, I think I'm fair to say, there was no progress
I don't blame her, I just blame myself I can't give her feelings that fall in love with me
If the girl don't have the interest of you, there is nothing you can do to get her heart
If you do everything like I did to her and eventually she have feelings for you
Congrats, I wish and bless you both, because you are the lucky one
If not, please take your time move on and take every possibility to know every girl

I don't care you are flirt or being a jerk as long as you move on the girl who TAKES everything of you, including happiness

If you still can care for her, it's not a big deal, but REMEMBER REAL HARD, who you going to be when you care for her. As a friend? or as the person who loves her since the start.  

I can't believe I saying this 
But I did happier recently 
After I feel like happiness not going to fall on me anytime soon
I did feel happier to care for someone 

But hey
Once I confirm something 
I try to post her to tell my reader