All the things I believe

I can't feel anyone, anymore
I just can't
I was like starting giving up on you

I'm tired of missing you
I'm sick of waiting your reply
I'm done of always chasing after you while you don't give a shit

I'm tired of talking about you in front of my friend
I'm sick of talking all about my feelings to you
I'm done of tried to calling you and you don't give a reply

I'm tired of letting myself into you
I'm sick of thinking about you
I'm done of helping you while you don't appreciate it

 I'm just


very tired

very tired

to explain every single things to you like he do
because you also don't want to care about or know about me


I'm just upset the whole time
I'm just once and once again disappointed
I'm just getting enough of heart breaking myself whole time


I know you will feel nothing but him
I know you will not feel heart breaking but him
I know you will not missing me but him

I know only when you lonely you will find me

I'm just done
Done chasing after you while you always push me away
No matter how you come back for me
You always make me feel like I'm just normal guy for you
You can't treat me better or same as you does to him
Or as same as I treat you
Just Enough


You are out of my league, all the things I believe
You maybe the right girl for me, but you were more than just a dream

Now I'm not going to cry
or I say I have no tears or nothing to cry anymore
I just kept in my mind
Always
You not talking about me
You don't missing about me
You don't care about me
You don't simply find me
You're not

Just not

I'm just not the one who deserve your love.

Wish List

I wish I can by your side when you was ill

I wish I can eat a lot of things with you

I wish I can drive you everywhere you want to

I wish I can go travel with you 

I wish I can take many photo with you

I wish I can same university with you

I wish I can have the same sport hobby with you

I wish I can cook somethings to you

I wish I can tie your hair
I wish I can warm your blanket
I wish I can help warp you while you feeling cool

I wish I can prepare everything for you before you going out 

I wish I can make you talk more about yourself

I wish I can make you come my game match of football

I wish I can make you happier 

I wish I can make you feel comfort when you talking with me

I wish I can make you take more attention about me

I wish I can buy you something you like 

I wish I can buy you something you always carry along because of me

I wish I can make you missing me when I'm not beside you

I wish I can make myself better to reach your requirement 

I wish I can make myself not to miss you so much

I wish I can don't jealous too much to others people that can treat you so well and you didn't reject it

I wish I can hold on more little all the time 

I wish I can make you be true for me

I wish I can be more mature

I wish I can every time drunk because of you

I wish I can not crazy missing you all day long

I wish I can control myself for you

I wish I can take all my photograph and create an album of you 

I wish I can drunk and wasted with you 

I wish I can eat ice cream with you

I wish I can heal your heart 

I wish I can wipe your tears

Lastly,

I wish I can stay beside you as long as I can, no matter what relationship we'll be.

余热

思念是一种很悬的东西
一旦你开始思念一个人，你会想尽办法联系那个人
听听那个人的声音，就算是说说废话，打扰打扰
此时此刻你的心，也不会那么乱了，那么慌
你为了那个人，心，就定了下来

思念是一种很悬的东西
一旦你开始思念一个人，你会胡思乱想，多余猜测
你开始会幻想，严重的话你会患上焦虑症，边缘人格症
你会变得很情绪化，若不好好的控制，你可能会伤害到人
这个阶段，往往妒忌与渴望被关注的心态最严重
然后你会觉得自己经历很多很多，其实你经历的只是微小的



我们的确经历了一些事情，我知道的也不是全部的全部
你有你的秘密，不去打扰，是我最后给的温柔


我已经不知道怎么做才是最适合了
我已经麻木你如何对待我一切了
我已经很努力去淡化我对你的思念了
我已经尝试不要把自己的情绪对你发泄了
我已经无力地去想关于你的一切

自己认为轰轰烈烈的付出后
会得到回应吗？
自己认为一直坚持站在悬崖上
等待救援吗？
并不是的
我决定不再等待
我决定往下跳
然而你一而再，再而三的牵绊着我的思绪



余热后的爱
是这样的吗？

余热后的爱
我们的故事会是怎样的？

余热后的爱
后青春期的诗
将会遇见更成熟的彼此

.

.

隐藏崩溃的内心

没事的没事的
告诉自己没事的
告诉自己一切都只是她暂时不方便，或许电话刚好没电了
告诉自己已经克服了许多心理矛盾与障碍
告诉自己她有她的权利让人知道她的事情
告诉自己一切都会好起来的

她的权利
她决定不说，隐瞒，一定有她的理由
她决定不让你知道，只是不想让你为她担心
她决定绕个圈子个说别的事情，就只是为了不再让你问她问题
她决定欺骗你，不让你知道，但你还是必须接受，因为这是她的权利
她决定不让你知道，也只因为不想你胡思乱想

往上看，因为这样眼泪才不会掉下来
你一直都不是她的谁或谁
你一直都在尝试一切你能做的
你一直相信她跟你说的，就算她打算欺骗你，隐藏一切
你一直想拉近那个距离感，因为你们不常见面
你一直非常想念她，睡前，睡醒，都会想到她
你一直都不想才穿她的谎言，因为你知道她有她的理由
你一直都很信任她所说的
你一直不问，她就一直隐瞒，可以利用你单纯的信任，然后去抹杀一切

当你很轰轰烈烈的去单恋
开始你会很抓狂，很心痛
中间你开始不再那么在乎了
后来你发现到原来这一切，你在乎的太多了
你的在乎，她是收到的，但是时间不对，自然效果不好
你告诉她你的想法，她都知道
你讯息她，她没回你，那是她的决定
你打电话给她，她没接，可是跟她在一起时，她却时常接电话
那时，你应该知道你应该怎样做
偶尔不接她电话？
可是你做不到，因为当她需要你的时候，可能是她最脆弱的时候，你不忍心

你知道的
你知道思念一个你不应该思念的人是多么的痛苦
你知道她不可能跟你坦白一切，也没那个必要
你知道这一切除了你自己找证据，不然就是无解题
你知道她不可能回你信息，陪你聊天
你知道许多事情你不能在她身边
你知道你已经伤痕累累，但还是坚持走下去

有些事，只能靠文字来抒发
你知道，她需要的，不是开始一段新的感情
你知道，她需要的，只是简单的懂得与陪伴
你知道，她需要的，只是简单的朋友没别的
你知道，她需要的，只是心的治疗伤痛时间

当你望着她的眼睛，仿佛她说的一切，是坦白的，赤裸的，没隐藏
在巴士站的离别，我们没拥抱
在火车站的离别，我们没拥抱
在飞机场的离别，我们同样的没拥抱彼此
是不是在告诉我，我连一个拥抱都不值得吗？

之前，已经试过一次了
所以我可以再承受多一次那种打击
只需要，你告诉我，你是幸福的，开心的，就好了
因为你无法感动一个不爱你的人

Written at 10/03/2014 12.01am

经典语录

很多女孩一旦被感動了
就會迅速愛上對方

浪漫不是愛
噓寒問暖不是愛
陪聊陪笑不是愛
那隻是泡妞的手段

真正的愛
是犧牲了自己某一部分
來成全你
讓你變的更好

所以不要找一個
可以感動你的人
而要找愛你的人

愛不是感動
而是成全

--------------------------------------------------

有時候 放手 不是因為不愛了 而是沒有力氣 再去念念不忘

--------------------------------------------------

其實女人很敏銳
你愛不愛她她一眼就能分辨出來
只不過有的裝傻

有的自欺欺人
有的委屈求全
有的決定和你一起演

--------------------------------------------------

心理老師說

" 愛 "
就是飄來一片烏雲
然後開始下雨
你最喜歡的人
你要把TA保護起來

--------------------------------------------------

我经常损你，是因为我相信我们的关系。

难过时吃一粒糖，告诉自己生活是甜的！

心烦时，记住三句话：1、算了吧。2、没关系。3、会过去的。

喜欢一个人是一种感觉，不喜欢一个人却是事实。事实容易解释，感觉却难以喻。“爱”和“喜欢”的区别很简单，如果你爱花你会给它浇水，喜欢则会摘下它。

单身意味着你足够坚强，有足够耐心去等待那个值得拥有你的人。

一个哦字，打破了所有想说的话题。

聊天时你可曾因为看到了对方的“正在输入……”,而悄悄地删掉自己打出的字，静静等待着...

我们在扣扣里有聊不完的话，可现实见了面都一句都说不出来，就像陌生人一样。。

有没有一瞬间，你心疼过我的执着。。。

如果没有感觉，就不要给我错觉。。。

我不主动找你，不是因为你不重要，而是我不知道在你心里我是否重要。

有时候,喜欢听歌不是因为歌唱的好听,而是因为歌词写的象自己。

一句简单的“呵呵”涵盖了多少真情。

如果你没有经历过别人所经历的事情，就不要去评判一个人的过去！

再轰轰烈烈的情侣，也比不上平平淡淡的父母。

爱笑的人哭起来时，比谁都撕心裂肺。

不要给我忽冷忽热的温柔,我怕感冒。

不难过都是自己过，伤不伤心都是一颗心。。。

我是在乎你！而不是，欠你！

日久不一定生情，但必定见人心。。。

（来自 談情說愛，型男賤語錄转发）

Fantasy

The feeling I have now is like floating boat on the sea, I have nothing support to sail the boat, the boat drifting while the wind blows. Lying down on the deck, watching the night sky with full of star, it was beautiful. Imagine the farthest, brightest star have a castle on it, like a wonderland, flying with peter pan and tinker. When the night comes dark, the seaweed was glowing green under the sea. Suddenly whales swim by, it was try flattering with me, and it jump up and do a flip for me. The boat moving toward to unknown places, waiting me to discover.

The fantasy feeling I have it just came up my mind when you was upsetting, depressing. I just don't know why such a story I create think that it will comfort you. I just try, because I don't know. Things you love are always worth for trying to. 

She was asking me having a night with her, and I say okay. Well, plan not go as smooth as I think, but still in control. On road, she tell me how you going to class, where she ate, where she sport. I'm glad, really, because I feel I'm getting know more about her. What she asking for that day I was doing of it, I'm pushing her to the limit she need to. She was suffering, although I wanna just letting her give up, but in time I'm feel like if I'm letting it, then what I promise to her that will be broken. Don't keep promises to a girl that you can't keep. I don't care others how they see me shouting at her, what I care is how far she'll go for it, that's the promise I made of her.    

The night was totally spoiled. But having a spectacular movie with you enough for me. I'm glad because I was very grateful the time we have, we spend together, just both of us. I was sitting beside her bed, holding the wine glass, slowly tasting while self chatting with sleeping her. Wine are red, you are blue, things will change, become better you. It doesn't matter what I said that night, what matter is I can't even recognize her face in darkness. Tears come steaming down my face, because I can't recognize who are she, wanna touch her face, but I didn't. I can't tell what the feeling I have, I can't describe. Darkness corrupted us, night was long, I know she were tired, and I was getting drunk and head fall asleep in front of her bed and wondering maybe we was dreaming the same dream. Songs came up... ♫ Light will guide you home, and ignite your bones and I will try to fix you. ♫

The next day I woke, I was on my bed, and I was no idea how I getting to my bed. But more bother me is, her alarm was beeping. I off it, made more time for her to sleep. I pull the blanket to cover her leg. I didn't like a pervert stalking she while she was sleeping, and I was trying to sleep back because I'm tired too.

When I awake, I'm playing games, and what I'm saw her face is, like she having a bad dream yesterday night. Well, I mean not really a bad dream. She pick up a call, the face was getting serious, she not talking but listening. Phone hang up, I didn't ask who, because not my business too. So, later on she was rushing out and in, like trying to meet someone else. When she rushing out, I pick up her phone, I don't know the password, but I saw the notification is " have a message for you". Okay, that moment I realize it was him. 

She came back, I see the face are similar to last time when she broke up with ex, that horrible moment. I know she are not good at all. Tears down, I'm not surprise because she still getting through it, but option are less for me to make she feel comfort, so I'm trying to let she talk about it, and if she don't want to is okay. Later on, she open mouth and we start chatting. We talk about one hour before heading to lunch.

Alright, we was rushing hour, no, I mean, they. She was with a friend going to somewhere, they have somethings to do and I don't know, what she going to do. Curious for me, but I didn't want to ask because things she want to share is her choices, I don't like forcing people. People are forcing her too much, and I'm not going to do that for she. Never. (p/s: Sometimes good for you but if you didn't take it, I still will force you, because you are such a stubborn girl also.) 

Oh well, her friend catch up the train, but we didn't because she was empty credit for ticket. So, we took the next train. On train, we chat, I looking to her eyes more than usual. I can see that, she was suffering, tired, vulnerable, trying to tell me anythings she would, or maybe she was hiding the part that will break her heart down. I don't know, I just want to stay beside her before the time long gone. 

Destination reach, I glad I'm with her to find the bus, if not she will be lost and missing. The bag I pass to her friend, she was rushing down with him, and I think maybe we'll having a hug before saying goodbye to each others, but time won't allow. Then I walking back to KTM station, I waiting the bus drove out and I wish I can see you at the bus. Thank god, I see her siting at the driver side that row. I call her, for last reminder I told she be careful out there. 

The heart breaking moment, when I saw beside her will always have a guy came along, the guy if not having a good look, then is acting better then me, or having the time spending with her is more then I have. I was jealous, I admit. I'm self confidence enough for every things, but still losing the most precious spending times with she. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

No, if you were asking am I heart broken? Sadness? Depression? My answer is NO, and I was totally clear with that. My feelings are more like, heavy. The heaviness was combination of every negative feelings, but what overcomes it was the joyful moment that I having with her. When she talk about negative things, I will try to make her smile or made some joke with it. I just don't like seeing her always cry for him or him or him. Maybe I'm not on her side of position, I can't judge, I don't know what now she going through it, but I can do is, when you hungry I will bring you eat, when you wish I bring you travel , when you upset I bring you laugher, joyful moment. This what can I do, and what I'm only capable of.


I wish you can fly further, far far away here, you just like an angle to this world. People are try to love you, but not the ways you want to. Sometimes, the sword you bring along to protect the people you care, it also will hurt people too. So don't blame yourself every time you made out of decision. Every decision made, is a cross road in your life. What you made, you are creating your own fate and your own way to the future. Life is like a box of chocolate, you never knows what you'll get.